Author's Note: For our district writing assessment we didn't have a specific topic to go off of, so we got to write anything we wanted to that showed who we are as a writer. I like fictional pieces, because it's a fun way for me to express my type of writing, so this is what I wrote.
I got this weird letter the other day, but I’m not supposed to tell anyone. You can probably keep a secret, though. So, I’m going to tell you about that day, the letter, and how I became the unluckiest person on the planet, well, next to Amber.
“Ding!” the school bell rang.
“Okay, so for your homework tonight what do you have to do?” Mr. Green, our science teacher, asked our class.
“Create a model of a sedimentary rock,” we mumbled back.
“Okay, see you guys tomorrow!”
I picked up my books and started heading to the library.
“Hey, Cami,” said my roommate/best friend Amber as she nudged me on the shoulder. How was science?”
“Easy,” I replied. “How was art?”
“It was so fun; we made sculptures, and mine is going to look so cool in our room!”
“Nice,” I giggled.
As we walked to the library I was reading a list of materials I needed to make a rock for science. On our way there, I stopped by the school store to get some supplies.
Clay, paint, scissors. Clay, paint, scissors. Then, I grabbed the supplies off the shelf and went to the check out desk.
“$10.59 is your total,” the cashier read off the screen.
“Clink! Clink! Clink!” went the coins when she dropped them into the cash register.
“Have a great day!” the cashier exclaimed as she handed me the bag off materials.
In the library, I rolled the clay into a giant ball and split the clay in half. Afterwards, I sprinted to the cafeteria to put the clay in the microwave.
Once my clay was hard the school bell rang again, “Ding!”
Amber and I walked to the dormitories, up the stairs, down the hall, and to our room, room 72. I walked to the other side of the room and dropped my bags on the floor, in front of my bed. Tired and exhausted, I laid down on my bed and sighed, looking at the glow-in-the dark stars I stuck on the ceiling. While I rested Amber went downstairs to get snacks from the vending machine. Amber left a water bottle on my bedside table for me, so I decided to take a few sips, to have enough energy to do my homework. A few minutes later I placed all my supplies on my desk in the corner of the room.
Clay… check! Paint… check! Scissors… check! Then, I grabbed the gray paint and started mixing it with the tan paint. Slowly, I dabbed the bristles of my brush into the creamy color and started to coat the outside of the rock. The first layer was almost dry so I started another one. While the second coat dried, I drank a little but more water to keep me awake. Now I had to paint layers on the inside of my rock. I grabbed my scarlet bottle of paint and poured a little bit in a dish; the paint spread and covered the bottom of the bowl. Across the inside of the rock, I created fiery, red stripes. On my last stroke I was about ready to start making orange stripes then someone knocked on the door.
“Hello, who is it?” I ask since I was busy painting. Then, I stopped in the middle of an orange stripe and walked towards the door. “Hello?” As I walked faster the person out in the hallway seemed to be running faster. Quickly, I twisted the door knob and yanked on it. The only thing I saw was the back of a yellow tennis shoe.
“I wonder what that was about,” I thought as I walked back to my desk.
Suddenly, I stopped, turned around and walked back to the door. In front of me laid a manila envelope labeled, “DON’T SHOW TO ANYONE.” My mind went back and forth debating if I should open it; I was scared to, yet curious to see what was inside. So, I slowly and carefully tore open the sealed flap. A letter was the only item that sat in this envelope.
With a feeling I felt would be regret, I read the letter that said, “Amber is with me right now and I am not going to let her go unless you do exactly what I say. You are the only one that can save her. No one, not even Amber, knows about this right now. If you tell anyone about this or disobey my orders, I will know, and no one will ever hear from Amber again! Poor Amber only has a month, so listen well and no one gets hurt. Signed, the Hat.”
My stomach was spinning, my heart was pounding, and I was speechless. I couldn’t move; I was frozen solid. When, I was done registering what just happened I dropped the letter, buried my head into my pillow and cried. What was I supposed to do?
I really like this writing piece. I think that you did a good job using dialogue between characters. I also think that you had really good word choice in this writing piece. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI like how you are incorporating dialog here, and using some creative elements in your writing. Excellent use of the semi-colon, and I'm looking forward to seeing you try to use the dash construction next.
ReplyDeleteOMG I love it! Please, please, please write some more!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! Tien, your voice in your work is so heard and I love your word choice! I love the whole thing! Especially the dialogue! You have such a gift, Tien!
ReplyDelete