Author's Note: This piece was written to reflect a science experiment that Callie and I conducted. In this piece I will try to vary the lengths of my sentences and find better words for words that are originally weak. I will also try to start my sentences with different words.
One day Callie and I were thinking of doing a project together, but we couldn't think of an idea. We brainstormed, but nothing too interesting came to mind. Ding! An idea popped into my head. I suggested that we should do a project on plant growth that tested whether orange juice, water or milk would help flowers grow best. Callie and I both thought it was a great idea... at first.
We gathered our supplies which were a bottle of milk, some orange juice, a cup of water, a few cups, soil, and Purple Coneflower seeds. Then we labeled the cups with the type of liquid each plant would be watered with. Once we were done with putting the seeds and soil in the cups, we watered them and set them on the windowsill where they had some sun.
Each week we would record their growth and water them. Other than that we let them be. As I worked at my desk, I kept an eye on them. One day I saw a shadow moving inside the cup. I went over to the cup to see what was inside. That shadow was actually a bug; we were not thinking that orange juice would attract bugs at the time of our brainstorming. On the plant watered by milk grew mold; we didn't think of that outcome either. The fun didn't end here.
Next week we went to the fridge to get the milk and orange juice. The most disgusting think laid before my eyes... rotten milk. I showed the bottle to Callie and we decided to dump it in the sink. As I observed the scene, I realized the fridge was unplugged. We tried to make the odor less strong by running the water and adding soap. While it drained, we went to the bathroom to clean the bottles. The residue from the orange juice and milk were hard to scrub out, but we eventually got it. When we came back to the classroom, we found that the water had all drained and all that was left was the chunks of what used to be milk. Mckena helped us reduce the stench by adding a spritz of perfume to the sink. Mr. Johnson helped us by scraping up the clump and putting them into a bag. It was not a pretty sight.
This project was not finished, because of the events that took place. Although, we did learn many helpful lessons from our experience. Next time we do a project we will take all the possible outcomes of our experiment into consideration, and we will not use things that spoil quickly. Also, if our project required refrigeration, to make sure the refrigerator is plugged in. If you try this project, make sure you're prepared.
I enjoyed this piece. It was interesting yet educational and fun. I liked how it showed opinion and voice. The visuals were a nice touch as well. I like how you put your educational experience into a story-like form. Did you ever finish the project?
ReplyDeleteThat project was not finish, because of the events that took place as I stated in the beginning of the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent write-up. Your voice is informal, yet at the same time, goes into detail to be exact about what happened. This is exactly what should be done to process an experiment that takes an unexpected turn.
ReplyDeleteThe vocabulary and organization are excellent. Even the Author's Note is well done. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi Tien! I really liked this piece-- I could most absolutley hear your voice. THis piece was informational but I could totally hear your humor in it! Your vocab was unique and there was a variety of it too. Great job!
ReplyDeletePsst... you should check out my Sparkleworks blog sometime- I just posted an interesting piece!